Golf Is A Game That Needlessly Prolongs

Did You See Where President Reagan Finally Got A Hearing Aid? People Have Been Telling Him To Get One For Years, But He Couldn't Hear Them.

If They Liked You, They Didn't Applaud -- They Let You Live.

Jack Benny Really Liked My Book. I Know Because He Called Me Up From The Library And Told Me.

The Older You Get, The Tougher It Is To Lose Weight, Because By Then Your Body And Your Fat Are Really Good Friends.

I Would Not Have Had Anything To Eat If It Wasn't For The Stuff The Audience Threw At Me.