Golf Is A Game That Needlessly Prolongs

You Know You're Getting Old When The Candles Cost More Than The Cake.

It's Amazing How Many People You See On Tv. I Did My First Television Show A Month Ago, And The Next Day Five Million Television Sets Were Sold. The People Who Couldn't Sell Theirs Threw Them Away.

The Workers Love Khrushchev Very Much. He Hasn't Got An Enemy In The Entire Country. Quite A Few Under It.

Every Naval Vessel Has A Contingent Of Marines Aboard. After All, The Sailors Have To Have Someone To Dance With.

I've Always Felt England Was A Great Place For A Comic To Work. It's An Island And The Audience Can't Run Very Far.