In His Prime, The Young Comic Walked

With Today's Movies, If We Took Out All The Bad Language, We'd Go Back To Silent Films.

Wine, Women And Song Have Been Replaced By Prune Juice, A Heating Pad And The Gong Show.

A Bank Is A Place That Will Lend You Money If You Can Prove That You Don't Need It.

Bing Crosby And I Weren't The Types To Go Around Kissing Each Other. We Always Had A Light Jab For Each Other. One Of Our Stock Lines Used To Be "there's Nothing I Wouldn't Do For Bing, And There's Nothing He Wouldn't Do For Me." And That's The Way We Go Through Life - Doing Nothing For Each Other!

Out Here In The Pacific, They Have Typhoons And Hurricanes That Blow Over 200 Miles An Hour. We Have Tornadoes And Hurricanes Back Home, But I Don't Worry About Them. The Mortgage On My House Is So Heavy That Nothing Could Budge It.