If They Liked You, They Didn't Applaud

For The First Time, You Can Actually See The Losers Turn Green

At The Academy Award Dinners All The Actors And Actresses In Hollywood Gather Around To See What Someone Else Thinks About Their Acting Besides Their Press Agents.

Everybody Is Afraid They Won't Have Any Money After They Die, But Jack Benny Discovered A Way To Take It With Him. He Had His Appendix Taken Out And A Piggy Bank Put In.

Wine, Women And Song Have Been Replaced By Prune Juice, A Heating Pad And The Gong Show.

I'm So Old They've Cancelled My Blood Type.