I Feel Very Humble, But I Think

If I Had That Kind Of Money, I Wouldn't Come To Vietnam, I'd Send For It.

Please Don't Stand Up On My Account.

You Know What A Fan Letter Is - It's Just An Inky Raspberry.

Welcome To The Academy Awards, Or, As It's Known At My House, Passover.

In England When You Make A Movie Even The Weather Is Against You. In Hollywood The Weatherman Gets A Shooting Schedule From All The Major Studios And Then Figures Out Where He Can Fit In A Little Rain Without Upsetting Metro-goldwyn-mayer Too Much.