Welcome To The Academy Awards, Or, As

Everybody Is Afraid They Won't Have Any Money After They Die, But Jack Benny Discovered A Way To Take It With Him. He Had His Appendix Taken Out And A Piggy Bank Put In.

I've Always Felt England Was A Great Place For A Comic To Work. It's An Island And The Audience Can't Run Very Far.

Louis B. Mayer Came Out West With $28.00, A Box Camera And An Old Lion. He Built A Monument To Himself -- The Bank Of America.

My Old Friend Jack Benny Has Only Had One Ball All His Golfing Life. And Now He's Lost It. The String Came Off!

To Give You An Idea Of How Fast We Travelled - We Left With Two Rabbits And When We Arrived We Still Had Only Two.