You Want To Look Younger... Rent Smaller

I Don’t Want To Sound Like I’m On Dope, But That Hour Is A High; It’s As Good As You Can Feel. A Wonderful, Wonderful Happiness, And Great Power.

The Only Time I Ever Enjoyed Ironing Was The Day I Accidentally Got Gin In The Steam Iron.

The Reason I'm Not An Alcoholic Is I Don't Like To Drink In Front Of The Kids . . . And When You're Away From Them, Who Needs It?.

I Was In A Beauty Contest Once. I Not Only Came In Last, I Was Hit In The Mouth By Miss Congeniality.

Remember There Is No Way You Can Give The Father Custody Of The Children Without Getting A Divorce.