We All Know That America Is The

If You Were The Only Person Left On The Planet, I Would Have To Attack You. That's My Job.

Nixon's The Kind Of Guy That If You Were Drowning Fifty Feet Off Shore, He'd Throw You A Thirty Foot Rope. Then Kissinger Would Go On Tv The Next Night And Say That The President Had Met You More Than Half-way.

In The Forties, To Get A Girl You Had To Be A Gi Or A Jock. In The Fifties, To Get A Girl You Had To Be Jewish. In The Sixties, To Get A Girl You Had To Be Black. In The Seventies, To Get A Girl You've Got To Be A Girl.

I Made The Mistake Early In My Career, When I Moved To Hollywood, Of Being Attracted To Actresses. I Used To Go Out Exclusively With Actresses And Other Female Impersonators.

When Obama Ran, He Said, We Can Change The World! The World: Can You Change It Back?!