The New York Times Is The Official

Professional Comedians, Surprisingly, Have A Lack Of Humor. They're Insensitive To The Insanity Of Our Times.

Obama Says His Recreation Consists Of Reading The Constitution... Looking For A Loophole.

I Made The Mistake Early In My Career, When I Moved To Hollywood, Of Being Attracted To Actresses. I Used To Go Out Exclusively With Actresses And Other Female Impersonators.

I Went To Computer Class With My Dell And I Was Bullied By A Guy With A Mac.

Nixon's The Kind Of Guy That If You Were Drowning Fifty Feet Off Shore, He'd Throw You A Thirty Foot Rope. Then Kissinger Would Go On Tv The Next Night And Say That The President Had Met You More Than Half-way.