I'm Not A Liberal, I'm A Radical!

In The Forties, To Get A Girl You Had To Be A Gi Or A Jock. In The Fifties, To Get A Girl You Had To Be Jewish. In The Sixties, To Get A Girl You Had To Be Black. In The Seventies, To Get A Girl You've Got To Be A Girl.

Professional Comedians, Surprisingly, Have A Lack Of Humor. They're Insensitive To The Insanity Of Our Times.

You Haven't Lived Until You've Died In California

Obama Is Running Again For Spite.

I Made The Mistake Early In My Career, When I Moved To Hollywood, Of Being Attracted To Actresses. I Used To Go Out Exclusively With Actresses And Other Female Impersonators.