There Was Nothing Subtle About Our Landing.

My Secret For Staying Young Is Good Food, Plenty Of Rest, And A Makeup Man With A Spray Gun.

You Never Get Tired Unless You Stop And Take Time For It.

Everybody Is Afraid They Won't Have Any Money After They Die, But Jack Benny Discovered A Way To Take It With Him. He Had His Appendix Taken Out And A Piggy Bank Put In.

I've Never Wanted An Oscar, Although They Are Reassuring To An Actor Who Doesn't Know How Really Great He Is.

Jimmy Stewart Could Have Been A Good Golfer, But He Speaks So Slowly That By The Time He Yells 'fore!' The Guy He's Hit Is Already In An Ambulance On The Way To The Hospital.