The Sight Of Home Looks Best After

If You Believe The Past Can't Be Changed, You Haven't Read A Celebrity's Autobiography.

Half Of All Home Accidents Happen In The Kitchen, And The Family Has To Eat Them.

Inflation Is When You Pay Fifteen Dollars For The Ten-dollar Haircut You Used To Get For Five Dollars When You Had Hair.

Don't Drive As If You Own The Road; Drive As If You Own The Car.

I Try To Figure My Adjusted Gross Income, But No Matter How I Figure It, It's Still Gross.