She Spoke Perfect English, Which Led To

I Went To Play Golf And Tried To Shoot My Age, But I Shot My Weight Instead.

I Have This Terrific Make-up Man. But He's Expensive. I Have To Bring Him In From Lourdes.

As The Colonel And I Sat Swapping Stories In The Plane, A Jet Aircraft Buzzed Past Our Window. I Asked The Colonel What Type Of Aircraft It Was, And He Said, "don't Worry About It, Bob. . . If You Can See It, It's Obsolete."

With Today's Movies, If We Took Out All The Bad Language, We'd Go Back To Silent Films.

I Never Kick My Ball In The Rough Or Improve My Lie In A Sand Trap. For That I Have A Caddie.