My Father Always Wanted To Be The

[remark About Calvin Coolidge She Says Was Erroneously Attributed To Her:] I Do Wish He Did Not Look As If He Had Been Weaned On A Pickle.

If You Haven't Got Anything Nice To Say About Anybody, Come Sit Next To Me.

My Father Always Wanted To Be The Corpse At Every Funeral, The Bride At Every Wedding And The Baby At Every Christening.

I Can Be President Of The United States, Or I Can Control Alice. I Cannot Possibly Do Both.

Never Trust A Man Who Combs His Hair Straight From His Left Armpit.