List of Craig Kilborn Quotes

Maria Shriver Is Credited With Helping Arnold Win By Standing By Him Despite Allegations Of Groping. She Had To Stand By Him Cause Arnold Had A Vice Grip On Her Left Ass Cheek.

Lot Of People Wondering If John Kerry Supports Gay Marriages. Here's A Hint ... He Gets $1,000 Haircuts.

John Kerry Announced His Plan For How To Handle Those Poor Naked Prisoners. His Wife Is Going To Buy Them All A $1,000 Armani Suit.

John Kerry Will Undergo Surgery To Repair His Right Shoulder. He Originally Hurt It When He Suddenly Switched Positions On Iraq.

This Is So Weird. I Saw The New John Kerry Campaign Commercial And He Says, 'i'm John Kerry And I Approve Of This Message - If I Have One.'

John Kerry Will Be The Democratic Nominee For President. Democrats Finally Found Someone Who Is Al Gore Without The Flash And The Sizzle.

Hillary Clinton's 506-page Memoir Has Come Out. So Much Of Her Personality Shines Through, That In The End, You, Too, Will Want To Sleep With An Intern.

I Don't Want To Scare Anybody Here But We Just Received Word From Police That Howard Dean Is Loose And May Be Armed With A Microphone.

Howard Dean Is Narrowing The Field Of Potential Running Mates. It's Down To Mike Tyson Or Bobby Knight.

Here In California, One Candidate For Governor Is A 100-year-old Woman. She's Going Door-to-door And Asking One Simple Question - 'do I Live Here?'

Larry Flynt, Running For Governor Of California. His Goal - Change Our State Bird To The Spread Eagle.

President Bush Said John Kerry Is On Both Sides Of Every Issue. And Kerry Replied, 'no, I'm Not ... But There Is Some Truth To That.'