Maria Shriver Is Credited With Helping Arnold

Did You See The Statue Topple? Bill Clinton Got Nostalgic Seeing Something That Big In A Beret Go Down.

With Iraq Plunging Into Chaos And Gas Prices At Record Highs President Bush Took Time Out This Weekend For A Ride On His Bicycle, But Unfortunately He Fell Off And Sustained Cuts To His Face And Hands. Apparently Bush Was Distracted By The Enormous Responsibilities Of The Presidency. I'm Just Kidding. He Hit Some Gravel Or Something.

Ironically, The Possibility That The President Dodged His Military Service Has Increased His Approval Ratings With Democrats By 80 Percent.

Tom Ridge Now Says We Don't Have To Run Out And Put Plastic Sheets All Over The House. Great, Tell That To My Dead Parakeet.

John Kerry Announced His Plan For How To Handle Those Poor Naked Prisoners. His Wife Is Going To Buy Them All A $1,000 Armani Suit.