Yesterday Jerry Springer Bowed Out Of The

President Bush Is In The Hot Seat Over Iraqi Pre-war Intelligence. Remember The Good Ol' Days When The Only Thing The President Was Trying To Cover Up Was A Stain?

Our Top Story, In 'threat Matrix Reloaded' News ... Attorney General John Ashcroft And Fbi Director Robert Muller Held A Press Conference Today To Announce That Al Qaeda Is Planning Attacks Somewhere Inside The United States At Sometime In The Future. So Go About Your Normal Lives, But With A Vague Sense Of Foreboding.

Critics Say Arnold Has No Previous Government Experience, But Advisers Say He's Clearly The Most Qualified Austrian, Ex-mr. Universe In The Race.

Singer Boy Dylan Was Stopped At His Own Sow By Security Guards Who Failed To Recognize The Singer. Asked To Comment, Dylan Replied, 'i Can Hardly Blame Them. Look At Me.'

John Kerry Announced His Plan For How To Handle Those Poor Naked Prisoners. His Wife Is Going To Buy Them All A $1,000 Armani Suit.