Martha Stewart Was Convicted Of Four Counts

President Bush Says In The Last Month He Has Created 300,000 New Jobs. Yeah, They're Called Kerry Campaign Workers.

Happy Birthday To Former First Lady Barbara Bush, Who Turned Seventy-seven This Week. Unfortunately, Where Her Granddaughters Helped Blow Out The Candles On Her Cake, It Exploded.

Federal Authorities Have Informed Martha Stewart's Lawyers She Will Be Indicted For Her Role In The Imclone Insider Trading Scandal. Good News For Martha - Stripes Are Back In This Year.

Today, John Kerry Announced A Fool-proof Plan To Wipe Out The $500b Deficit. John Kerry Has A Plan, He's Going To Put It On His Wife's Gold Card.

President Bush Spent Last Night Calling World Leaders To Support The War With Iraq And It Is Sad When The Most Powerful Man On Earth Is Yelling, 'i Know You're There, Pick Up, Pick Up.