If A Thing Is Worth Having, It's

I Spent Half My Money On Gambling, Alcohol And Wild Women. The Other Half I Wasted.

We Frequently Hear Of People Dying From Too Much Drinking. That This Happens Is A Matter Of Record. But The Blame Is Always Placed On Whisky. Why This Should Be I Never Could Understand. You Can Die From Drinking Too Much Of Anything - Coffee, Water, Milk, Soft Drinks And All Such Stuff As That. And So As Long As The Presence Of Death Lurks With Anyone Who Goes Through The Simple Act Of Swallowing. I Will Make Mine Whisky.

Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's House Unless They Have A Well-stocked Bar.

I Never Drink Water Because Of The Disgusting Things That Fish Do In It.

Alcoholic: Anybody Who Drinks More Than I Do.