You Can't Cheat An Honest Man.

No Doubt Exists That All Women Are Crazy; It's Only A Question Of Degree.

I've Been Barbecued, Stewed, Screwed, Tattooed, And Fried By People Claiming To Be My Friends. The Human Race Has Gone Backward, Not Forward, Since The Days We Were Apes Swinging Through The Trees.

Horse Sense Is The Thing A Horse Has Which Keeps It From Betting On People.

Try Till You Succeed...if You Don't Succeed Once, Then Destroy All Evidence Of The Fact That You Tried!

I Never Drink Water; That Is The Stuff That Rusts Pipes.