You Can't Cheat An Honest Man.

Always Carry A Flagon Of Whiskey In Case Of Snakebite, And Furthermore Always Carry A Small Snake.

It Was A Marriage Of Convenience, As My Father Had A Blister On His Big Toe And Couldn't Travel Far To Find A Girl.

What A Gorgeous Day. What Effulgent Sunshine. It Was A Day Of This Sort The Mcgillicuddy Brothers Murdered Their Mother With An Axe.

It's Quite True I'm Not Drinking Anymore; However, I'm Not Drinking Any Less Either.

Once, During Prohibition, I Was Forced To Live For Days On Nothing But Food And Water.