You Can't Cheat An Honest Man.

Some People Are Born Losers; Others Acquire The Knack Gradually.

Reality Is An Illusion That Occurs Due To The Lack Of Alcohol.

I Like Thieves. Some Of My Best Friends Are Thieves. Why, Just Last Week We Had The President Of The Bank Over For Dinner.

The Two-headed Boy In The Circus Never Had Such A Headache.

When Asked To Borrow Money: "i'll See What My Lawyer Says. . . . And If He Says Yes, I'll Get Another Lawyer.