I Drink Therefore I Am.

I Don't Know Why I Ever Come In Here. The Flies Get The Best Of Everything.

I'm Looking For Loopholes. (said When Caught Reading The Bible.).

When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Whisky Sours.

Beer: Helping Ugly People Have Sex Since 3000 B. C.

Ye Gads, No! I Couldn't Stand The Noise.