I Drink Therefore I Am.

I Once Donated A Pint Of My Finest Red Corpuscles To The Great American Red Cross And The Doctor Opined My Blood Was Very Helpful; Contained So Much Alcohol They Could Use It To Sterilize Their Instruments.

I Could Juggle Anything In My Day. Balls, Cigar Boxes, Knives...but There Was One Thing I Could Never Juggle. My Income Tax.

If A Thing Is Worth Having, It's Worth Cheating For.

There Are Seven Natural Openings In The Head And Body. A Lawyer Is The Only Human Being With Eight. The Extra One Is A Slot To Store Money In, Should His Bank Be Unable To Hold All Of It.

I Don't Know Why I Ever Come In Here. The Flies Get The Best Of Everything.