I Never Voted For Anybody. I Always

The Advantages Of Whiskey Over Dogs Are Legion. Whiskey Does Not Need To Be Periodically Wormed, It Does Not Need To Be Fed, It Never Requires A Special Kennel, It Has No Toenails To Be Clipped Or Coat To Be Stripped. Whiskey Sits Quietly In Its Special Nook Until You Want It. True, Whiskey Has A Nasty Habit Of Running Out, But Then So Does A Dog.

Women Are Like Elephants To Me. I Like To Look At Them, But I Wouldn't Want To Own One.

I Never Drink Water... Fish F**k In It.

I've Been Barbecued, Stewed, Screwed, Tattooed, And Fried By People Claiming To Be My Friends. The Human Race Has Gone Backward, Not Forward, Since The Days We Were Apes Swinging Through The Trees.

Hollywood Is The Gold Cap On A Tooth That Should Have Been Pulled Out Years Ago.