I Love Steven Wright.

I Am Everything And I Am Nothing. I Am Just Kidding; I Am Not Everything And Nothing. That Would Be Ridiculous. I Am Just Everything.

Our Times, A Brief History: As Televisions Became Flatter, People Became Rounder.

Like A Lot Of People, I’ve Always Enjoyed Commenting On Strangers’ Outfits. Unlike A Lot Of People, I Now Had A New Megaphone To Do It With. And, Let Me Tell You, Commenting On People’s Hilarious Clothing Choices Through A Megaphone Makes It So Much Better.

It Would Be Interesting If Elvis Were Reincarnated As An Elvis Impersonator.

For Some Reason Cowboy Sounds Better Than Cowman.