I Like To Approach Every Day Like

What I've Learned About Comedy People Is That They're Defined By The Harshest Level They've Been To, Their Personal Auschwitz.

It's Smart To Marry Your Yoga Teacher So When You Get Divorced You Know How To Go Down On Yourself.

Just Went To The Gym And Worked On Every Body Part. Four People Slapped Me.

If Someone Sprays Windex In Your Food It Can Give You Diarrhea. But Once You Wipe It Off Your Windows, You're Fine.

I Wouldn't Hurt A Flea. I'd Finger A Spider Though.