If I Ever Die, I Want It

I Love Watching People Get Hit In The Crotch. But Only If They Get Back Up. If Their Teeth Are Bleeding, If They're Really Hurt, If An Ambulance Has To Come, I'm Not Laughing.

What I Have Now Are Good Problems Of Trying To Decide And What I Really Want To Do Is Good Work Next. My Phone's Ringing A Lot More And I've Got Nine Lines So When It Doesn't Ring, It's Very Frustrating.

Found A Bunch Of Old Shower Caps In My House. Was Gonna Throw Them Out But Realized They Make Excellent Porta Potties For Long Road Trips.

No One Gets A Free Ride. Except Maybe Bus Drivers.

I'm Doing 5000 Seat Theaters And Audiences Are Going Nuts, It's Fantastic And It Makes Me Very Happy. I'm Dirty, But Not Like This; I Just Do Comedy That I Find Funny. I'm Working On A New Tv Show For Cable And It's Not Set Up Yet.