Go Figure A Crazy, Mixed-up Country Where

Personally, I Never Drink On Oscar Nights, As It Interferes With My Suffering.

If I Had That Kind Of Money, I Wouldn't Come To Vietnam, I'd Send For It.

Sure Vietnam Is A Dirty War. I've Never Heard Of A Clean One.

After The 1984 Summer Olympics, Reagan Wanted To Add The U.s. Volleyball Team To His Cabinet. He Figured If They Can't Shove His Programs Down Congress' Throat, Nobody Can.

I've Always Felt England Was A Great Place For A Comic To Work. It's An Island And The Audience Can't Run Very Far.