Did You See Where President Reagan Finally

Personally, I Never Drink On Oscar Nights, As It Interferes With My Suffering.

Having So Many Gold Courses So Close Together Was Ideal For Me. With My Slice I Could Enjoy Three Or Four Golf Courses At The Same Time.

You Know What A Fan Letter Is - It's Just An Inky Raspberry.

The Audience Was Swell. They Were So Polite They Covered Their Mouths When They Yawned.

It's Amazing How Many People You See On Tv. I Did My First Television Show A Month Ago, And The Next Day Five Million Television Sets Were Sold. The People Who Couldn't Sell Theirs Threw Them Away.