You Know You've Reached Middle Age When

The Last Time I Played Golf With President Ford He Hit A Birdie. And An Eagle, A Moose, An Elk, An Aardvark...

You Could Buy My Book In A Paperback Edition For A Dollar, And In Hard Covers For $3.50. And For Fifty Cents Extra, I Come Around To Your House Personally And Wet Your Finger While You're Turning The Pages.

I Grew Up With Six Brothers. That's How I Learned To Dance - Waiting For The Bathroom.

I Have Performed For 12 Presidents And Entertained Only Six.

Vice President Spiro Agnew Can Not Cheat On His Score : Because All You Have To Do Is Look Back Down The Fairway And Count The Wounded.