When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Whisky

I'm Free Of All Prejudices. I Hate Everyone Equally.

I Never Met A Kid I Liked.

Here Is My Best Advice On The Matter Of Deductibles: Just Count Off On Your Fingers All The Items That You Suspect Might Be Deductible - And Then Forget Them, Because They Aren't.

Once, During Prohibition, I Was Forced To Live For Days On Nothing But Food And Water.

Few Things In Life Are More Embarrassing Than The Necessity Of Having To Inform An Old Friend That You Have Just Got Engaged To His Fiancee.