I Believe In Tying The Marriage Knot,

Thou Shalt Not Steal-only From Other Comedians.

Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's House Unless They Have A Well-stocked Bar.

If Pigs Had Wings, They Would Be Pigeons.

Just Like My Uncle Charlie Used To Say, Just Before He Sprung The Trap: He Said, "you Can't Cheat And Honest Man! Never Give A Sucker An Even Break Or Smarten Up A Chump!

If At First You Don't Succeed, Try, Try Again. Then Quit. There's No Point In Being A Damn Fool About It.