I Ad Lib Most Of My Dialogue.

Some Weasel Took The Cork Out Of My Lunch.

I Was In Love With A Beautiful Blonde Once. She Drove Me To Drink. That's The One Thing I'm Indebted To Her For.

Everybody's Got To Believe In Something. I Believe I'll Have Another Beer.

Variant: I Was Driven To Drink By A Woman. I Am Forever Grateful, Yet I Never Had The Good Manners To Thank Her.

Hollywood Is The Gold Cap On A Tooth That Should Have Been Pulled Out Years Ago.