I Have A Poor Memory For Names;

There Is Not A Man In America Who Has Not Had A Secret Ambition To Boot An Infant.

There Are Seven Natural Openings In The Head And Body. A Lawyer Is The Only Human Being With Eight. The Extra One Is A Slot To Store Money In, Should His Bank Be Unable To Hold All Of It.

I Believe In Tying The Marriage Knot, As Long As It's Around The Woman's Neck

Few Things In Life Are More Embarrassing Than The Necessity Of Having To Inform An Old Friend That You Have Just Got Engaged To His Fiancee.

I Never Eat Before Breakfast.