I've Been Drunk Only Once In My

All My Available Funds Are Completely Tied Up In Cash.

Indeed, Moderation Is My Middle Name (though I Do Not Often Use It In Signing Legal Documents)

There Is Not A Man In America Who Has Not Had A Secret Ambition To Boot An Infant.

There Are Seven Natural Openings In The Head And Body. A Lawyer Is The Only Human Being With Eight. The Extra One Is A Slot To Store Money In, Should His Bank Be Unable To Hold All Of It.

The Punkwat Twins! Brentwood Is The World's Smallest Giant, Whilst His Brother, Elwood, Is The Largest Midget In The World. They Baffle Science!