I Could Be Stranded In Any Town

Wouldn't It Be Terrible If I Quoted Some Reliable Statistics Which Prove That More People Are Driven Insane Through Religious Hysteria Than By Drinking Alcohol.

In Every Big City There Is Always One Surefire Laugh, And That Lies In Hanging Some Piece Of Idiocy Upon The People Of A Nearby City Or Town.

There Are Only Two Real Ways To Get Ahead Today - Sell Liquor Or Drink It.

Somebody's Been Putting Pineapple Juice In My Pineapple Juice!

Take Me Down To The Bar! We'll Drink Breakfast Together!