When I Was A Kid I Got

Guy Goes Into A Bar With A Duck Under His Arm. Bartender Says, "where'd You Get The Pig?" Guy Says, "this Is A Duck." Bartender Says, "i Was Talking To The Duck."

I Looked Up My Family Tree And Found Out I Was The Sap.

The Sign On The Bar Said: 'girls- Topless, Bottomless', I Went Inside And There Was Nobody There!

With My Wife I Get No Respect. I Fell Asleep With A Cigarette In My Hand. She Lit It.

I Say 'no' To Drugs. Whenever Someone Asks Me For Some Of My Drugs I Say, 'no.