When I Go To The Beach, Even

Would You Believe That I Once Entered A Beauty Contest? I Must Have Been Out Of My Mind. I Not Only Came In Last, I Got 361 Get-well Cards.

You Know You're Old When Someone Compliments You On Your Alligator Shoes, And You're Barefoot.

Just The Other Day I Said To Fang, "don't You Think We've Got A Storybook Romance?" And He Said, "yes, And Every Page Is Ripped.

Before You Get Married You Should Meet Your Fiance's Parents. It Is Not Enough That You Like His Parole Officer.

I Became A Stand-up Comedienne Because I Had A Sit-down Husband.