You Know You're Old When Someone Compliments

You Can Say The Nastiest Things About Yourself Without Offending Anyone.

There's So Little Money In My Bank Account, My Scenic Checks Show A Ghetto.

How Do You Know They're Growing Up? Well, The Bite Marks Are Higher.

Some Wives Have Model Husbands, I Got One That Needed Remodeling.

Just Because I Have Rice On My Clothes Doesn't Mean I've Been To A Wedding. A Chinese Man Threw Up On Me.