When I Can't Sleep, I Read A

I Don't Drink. I Don't Like It. It Makes Me Feel Good.

I Never Watch The Dinah Shore Show- I'm A Diabetic.

I'm A Self-made Man. Who Else Would Help?

I'm A Concert Pianist, That's A Pretentious Way Of Saying I'm Unemployed At The Moment.

I've Given Up Reading Books. I Find It Takes My Mind Off Myself.