When Doctors And Undertakers Meet, They Wink

Back In My Rummy Days, I Would Tremble And Shake For Hours Upon Arising. It Was The Only Exercise I Got.

I've Been Barbecued, Stewed, Screwed, Tattooed, And Fried By People Claiming To Be My Friends. The Human Race Has Gone Backward, Not Forward, Since The Days We Were Apes Swinging Through The Trees.

If Pigs Had Wings, They Would Be Pigeons.

The Best Thing To Break Is A Contract.

W. C. Fields, A Lifetime Agnostic, Was Discovered Reading A Bible On His Deathbed. ''i'm Looking For A Loop-hole,'' He Explained.