There Are No I's In We But

Everyone I Love I Pay.

Full House Was A Show That Was Done For Ten-year-olds. The Critics Hated It. They Said Terrible, Terrible Things About It. But It Should Have Been Reviewed By Ten-year-olds. That's Who It Was Made For. They Loved It. And If They Loved It, Great. Why The Hell Does A Fifty-year-old Guy Working At A Big Newspaper Have To Tell Me I'm A Piece Of Crap?

Saw A Man In Whole Foods Yelling At His Son, What Are You Doing?! You Know I Don't Eat Bread!! Is There Such A Thing As Health Food Abuse?

Just Went To The Gym And Worked On Every Body Part. Four People Slapped Me.

What I've Learned About Comedy People Is That They're Defined By The Harshest Level They've Been To, Their Personal Auschwitz.