The Funniest Thing A Comedian Can Do

Scotch Needs Water Like A Fish Needs A Bicycle.

It Is Funnier To Bend Things Than To Break Them.

I Seldom Took A Drink On The Set Before 9 A.m.

I Only Drink To Steady My Nerves... Sometimes I'm So Steady I Don't Move For Months.

I Write My Scripts Short And They Develop On The Set, Which I Have Found A Far Better Premise Both Economically And Practically.