It Is Funnier To Bend Things Than

I Note The Derogatory Rumors Concerning The Use Of Alcoholic Stimulants And Lavish Living. It Is The Penalty Of Greatness.

I Don't Drink Water. Have You Seen The Way It Rusts Pipes?

All Englishmen Talk As If They've Got A Bushel Of Plums Stuck In Their Throats, And Then After Swallowing Them Get Constipated From The Pips.

I've Been On A 46-year Diet Of Olives And Alcohol. The Latter I Consume. The Former I Save And Use Over Again In More Alcohol. In My Lifetime, I Imagine, I Have Consumed At Least $200,000 Worth Of Whisky.

I Never Smoked A Cigar In My Life Until I Was Nine