I Don't Drink Water. Have You Seen

I Think Of The Church Often. Not Because Religion Was Closing In On Me, But Because For A Long Time My Ass Was Sore From That Hard, Unupholstered Pew.

I Drink With Impunity...or Anyone Else Who Invites Me.

A Man Who's Intoxicated All The Time Doesn't Need Sympathy.

All My Available Funds Are Completely Tied Up In Cash.

It Is Funnier To Bend Things Than To Break Them.