I Never Smoked A Cigar In My

Never Cry Over Spilt Milk, Because It May Have Been Poisoned.

If There's A Will, Prosperity Can't Be Far Behind.

A Woman Drove Me To Drink And I Didn't Even Have The Decency To Thank Her.

The First Thing Any Comedian Does On Getting An Unscheduled Laugh Is To Verify The State Of His .

I Always Made Up My Own Acts; Built Them Out Of My Knowledge And Observation Of Real Life. I'd Had Wonderful Opportunities To Study People; And Every Time I Went Out On The Stage I Tried To Show The Audience Some Bit Of True Human Nature.