I Seldom Took A Drink On The

I Believe In Tying The Marriage Knot, As Long As It's Around The Woman's Neck

Sex Isn't Necessary. You Don't Die Without It, But You Can Die Having It.

A Man Who Overindulges Lives In A Dream. He Becomes Conceited. He Thinks The Whole World Revolves Around Him; And It Usually Does.

I Always Made Up My Own Acts; Built Them Out Of My Knowledge And Observation Of Real Life. I'd Had Wonderful Opportunities To Study People; And Every Time I Went Out On The Stage I Tried To Show The Audience Some Bit Of True Human Nature.

We Frequently Hear Of People Dying From Too Much Drinking. That This Happens Is A Matter Of Record. But The Blame Is Always Placed On Whisky. Why This Should Be I Never Could Understand. You Can Die From Drinking Too Much Of Anything - Coffee, Water, Milk, Soft Drinks And All Such Stuff As That. And So As Long As The Presence Of Death Lurks With Anyone Who Goes Through The Simple Act Of Swallowing. I Will Make Mine Whisky.