The Dilbert Principle: People Are Idiots.

If Our Mushrooms Make You Hallucinate, Please Inform Us Immediately So We Can Overcharge You.

Most Success Springs From An Obstacle Or Failure. I Became A Cartoonist Largely Because I Failed In My Goal Of Becoming A Successful Executive.

It's Hard To Argue With The Government. Remember, They Are They Run The Bureau Of Alcohol, Tobacco And Firearms, So They Must Know A Thing Or Two About Satisfying Women.

I Never Knew What An Engineer Did For A Living When I Was A Kid. I Still Don't.

Remember There's No Such Thing As A Small Act Of Kindness. Every Act Creates A Ripple With No Logical End.