She Was So Fat That Her Bathtub

My Cousin Is Gay, In School While Other Kids Were Dissecting Frog, He Was Opening Flies.

A Homeless Guy Came Up To Me On The Street, Said He Hadn't Eaten In Four Days. I Told Him, "man, I Wish I Had Your Willpower.

If It Wasn't For Pick-pockets I'd Have No Sex Life At All.

When You Walk Up Five Flights Of Stairs At Four In The Morning, There's Definitely A Hooker Involved.

When We Got Married, The First Thing My Wife Did Was Put Everything Under Both Names - Hers And Her Mother's.