She Was So Fat That Her Bathtub

You Know You're Ugly When You Go To The Proctologist And He Sticks His Finger In Your Mouth.

My Father Carries Around The Picture Of The Kid Who Came With His Wallet.

I Went To Look For A Used Car And Found My Wife's Dress In The Back Seat.

My Mother Had Morning Sickness After I Was Born.

...went To A Bar For A Few Drinks. The Bartender Asked What I Wanted. "surprise Me", I Said. So He Showed Me A Naked Picture Of My Wife.