Run Scared ... And They Never Catch

When You First Get Married, They Open The Car Door For You. Eighteen Years Now...once He Opened The Car Door For Me In The Last Four Years - We Were On The Freeway At The Time.

I Can't Wear Yellow Anymore. It's Too Matchy-matchy With My Catheter.

A Man Can Sleep Around, No Questions Asked, But If A Woman Makes Nineteen Or Twenty Mistakes She's A Tramp.

Does Fashion Matter? Always - Though Not Quite As Much After Death.

Before We Make Love My Husband Takes A Pain Killer. I Blame My Mother For My Poor Sex Life. All She Told Me Was, 'the Man Goes On Top And The Woman Underneath'. For Three Years My Husband And I Slept On Bunk Beds. I'm A Double Bagger. Not Only Does My Husband Put A Bag Over My Face When We're Making Love, But He Also Puts A Bag Over His Head In Case Mine Falls Off. It's So Long Since I've Had Sex, I've Forgotten Who Ties Up Whom. My Best Birth Control Now Is To Leave The Lights On.