Now Don't Say You Can't Swear Off

Where There Is A Will, There's Prosperity Around The Corner.

During One Of My Treks Through Afghanistan, We Lost Our Corkscrew. We Were Compelled To Live On Food And Water For Several Days.

I Never Drink Water; That Is The Stuff That Rusts Pipes.

I Note The Derogatory Rumors Concerning The Use Of Alcoholic Stimulants And Lavish Living. It Is The Penalty Of Greatness.

It Was A Marriage Of Convenience, As My Father Had A Blister On His Big Toe And Couldn't Travel Far To Find A Girl.