Happiness Means Quiet Nerves.

I Was In Love With A Beautiful Blonde Once. She Drove Me To Drink. That's The One Thing I'm Indebted To Her For.

I Like Thieves. Some Of My Best Friends Are Thieves. Why, Just Last Week We Had The President Of The Bank Over For Dinner.

When We Have Lost Everything, Including Hope, Life Becomes A Disgrace, And Death A Duty.

I Must Have A Drink Of Breakfast.

I'd Rather Have Two Girls At 21 Each Than One Girl At 42.