Happiness Means Quiet Nerves.

The Laziest Man I Ever Met Put Popcorn In His Pancakes So They Would Turn Over By Themselves.

I Once Spent A Year In Philadelphia, I Think It Was On A Sunday.

When We Have Lost Everything, Including Hope, Life Becomes A Disgrace, And Death A Duty.

Bert Williams Was The Funniest Man I Ever Saw And The Saddest Man I Ever Knew.

This Job Will Drive Me To Drink, And For That Reason, I Will Be Eternally Grateful.