Never Refer To Your Wedding Night As

My Plastic Surgeon ... Said My Face Looked Like A Bouquet Of Elbows.

They Just Elected Me Mis Phonograph Record Of 1966. They Discovered My Measurements Were 33 1/2, 45, 78!

I Like To Serve Chocolate Cake, Because It Doesn't Show The Dirt.

Never Go To Bed Angry, Stay Up And Fight.

My Sister-in-law Is So Skinny That She Has A Striped Dress With Only One Stripe.